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Viewing Single Post From: Out of The FOG - Member Guidelines
Haggis	Oct 13 2007, 09:50 PM
Over 1000 posts Posts: 2,124 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: October 11, 2007	Out of the FOG - Guidelines Who We Are: Out of the FOG is dedicated to offering support and the opportunity for personal growth for people who have been affected by someone with a personality disorder. We are neither medical nor mental health professionals here, but rather a peer-support group. Out of the FOG is not intended as a substitute or replacement for therapy, counseling, or professional mental health services. Topics of Discussion: You are welcome to post in any of the forums listed. We do ask that your posts relate specifically to your relationship with a personality disordered individual. The Cafe is available for all members to enjoy off-topic posts, humor, artistry and discussion. There are a number of terms and abbreviations that are commonly used here and nowhere else. Check out our Glossary for an explanation of some of the more commonly used terms. It's OK to tell us about things that you enjoy, are involved in or that have helped you. However, direct solicitation of business or personal contact and direct marketing of products, services or events for organizations, charities, individuals and groups is not permitted. Our individual thoughts and ideas are important to each of us. However, please try not to "hijack" the threads of others by changing the subject. Posts should be targeted to the subject matter introduced by the originator of the thread. You are welcome to introduce new ideas or topics by starting a separate thread. Who owns your content: You own your own words and you have the right to license the content of your posts however you see fit. However, by submitting posts to Out of the Fog for inclusion on this message board, you agree to grant Out of the FOG a world-wide, royalty-free, non-exclusive license to display the content you have posted on this message board. Once posted, messages can't be removed by the poster. This helps to ensure the continuity of threads. However, you can edit your posts for up to 2 hours after the original post is made. This allows for minor clarifications and for the correction of grammatical errors etc. There are some people who have been diagnosed with a personality disorder, who themselves have loved ones or family members who also have a personality disorder. If you suffer from, or suspect you suffer from a personality disorder, you are welcome to join if the discussion still revolves around dealing with the loved ones in your life with a PD and not on your own recovery from a PD. There are other excellent sites for support in your own recovery (See our Links for more info). Also, please be aware that people at a site like this need a safe place to discuss openly how a person with a PD may have hurt them. If you suffer from a PD and choose to participate on this board please do not take such comments personally or attempt to speak on behalf of another person, who you do not know, who suffers from the same disorder as you. Opinions expressed by individual contributors do not necessarily reflect the views of Out of the FOG. Supporting Others: The spirit of our community is one of compassion and growth. You have a unique opportunity while you are here to work on your own healing and recovery and also to offer encouragement and understanding to others who are all in different stages of the learning or healing process. Nons often go through stages of being angry and blaming the person with a PD in their life for all their problems. However, these are stages. When people post, you are seeing a "snapshot" of what is happening with their lives and emotions. Anger and frustration at your own situation is to be expected at times, especially in the early stages of recovery. However, anger and frustration expressed towards other members can be counter-productive. Disagreements will happen from time to time. We ask that you remember to speak to others as you would wish to be spoken to, and offer your comments in a respectful, constructive manner. Members should respect and embrace the opinions of others and recognize diversity as part of the learning process. Do not intentionally goad other members, flame other members or inflame a sensitive or volatile situation. You are encouraged to describe situations and behaviors you may have dealt with. Be as honest and forthright as you can, and discuss openly how you feel about your situation. Don't exaggerate and don't sugar-coat it and remember that people who suffer from personality disorders are people too, many of whom struggle with the disorder, some of whom are working hard towards their own recovery and some who are members in good standing here at OOTF. Therefore, you are asked refrain from profane, derogatory name-calling of people who suffer from personality disorders, which does little in the way of resolving problems and tends to alienate or dehumanize groups of people, particularly when used in a general context. You are encouraged to use your own good sense along with local law enforcement and legal jurisdictions to protect yourself from abusive situations where applicable and discuss your situation with others. However, do not use OOTF as a platform for discussing or advocating any type of revenge, or ways to harass, hurt, sabotage or get even with people who suffer from personality disorders or whom you feel may have hurt you. Such posts are subject to removal. Often, after we have worked through some of our own pain and grief, we come to realize the role that we ourselves have played in the relationship and, although we may still be very angry with the PD, we can also care a great deal for the person. If we didn't, we wouldn't be here. Giving Advice: This is a confidential peer support group created by men and women who have experienced personal relationships with a personality disordered relative, friend or partner. We are not mental health professionals, and don't offer this board as a substitute for professional assistance. Any advice you receive here should be taken in that context. Feel free to share how you cope or have coped with various situations - that's the purpose of this forum! But please be cautious about making blanket statements like "You should do this and that" especially when you don't know the person well. Another person's situation may be very different from yours. Often, people need to come to their own conclusions in their own time frame. Also, do try to avoid making blanket generalizations about personality disorders, personality disordered individuals or "Nons" that are unsupported by clinical literature. Having a personality disordered relative, friend or partner can be difficult, and sometimes other posters may say or do things that you don’t approve of. We are all coming from different stages, situations, and backgrounds. Please be considerate and non-judgmental about how others live their lives. If you respond harshly or judgmentally, you will make it harder for others to post for fear of being judged. Mental health professionals are very welcome to join this forum. However, for ethical and legal considerations, we request that mental health professionals refrain from offering any direct diagnostic or prescriptive advice to other members. Anyone (mental health professional or otherwise) posting references or specific information about personality disorders such as clinical studies, published articles etc. is asked to please reference the source of the information and provide a link to the information whenever possible. This is both as a courtesy to the original authors of the content and so that the information posted can be evaluated in its original context by our readers. Diversity: We are a diverse community, comprising many races, religions, value systems, and beliefs. Sometimes people of certain religions or of a particular political persuasion assume that everyone shares their beliefs or want to impose these beliefs on everyone. Feel free to speak about what's important to you and how your values and beliefs affect your situation but please be careful and don't assume that everyone else is the same. Confidentiality: Confidentiality is important to the safety of everybody on our board. It is strongly recommended that members do not directly or indirectly disclose their own identity. It’s not uncommon for members to discover that the person with a personality disorder in their life has been reading at this site. Therefore, don’t disclose personal details such as place names, business names, vacation venues, friends names etc. that would be identifying to people in your life. You are also discouraged from registering with a user name, email address or avatar that could be recognized. Sites such as Yahoo and Google offer free anonymous email hosting. You are strongly encouraged not to register using any email address that other people may have access to as the board will occasionally send information about your account to that address. Please don’t post any information that directly or indirectly discloses the identity of family members, friends or relationship partners. This includes (but is not limited to) direct information such as real names, photographs, addresses, phone numbers, email addresses, etc., as well as, indirect information such as pet names, local venues, etc. Members having off-board information about another member shall not disclose it. This extends to the contents of personal communications, email, personal messages, text and telephone conversations. Any information posted which reveals identifying information about another individual will be modified or removed by the moderators. Threats to Harm Self or Others: Many of our members are depressed at one time or another. However, we are not professionals and, therefore, are not equipped to counsel anyone in the throes of a suicidal or threatening depression. Suicidal and threatening posts will be removed from the boards immediately, and the poster encouraged to seek professional assistance in his or her "real life" community. Please check the main resource pages for relevant telephone numbers and links here Moderation of the Boards: This is a moderated forum. The moderators are also people who have dealt with or are dealing with a personality disordered person in their own lives. The moderating team can move, delete, split and combine threads. They also have the discretion to edit or delete member posts when such posts are determined to be in conflict with the guidelines. Moderators can suspend accounts if a poster is not respecting others or contributing constructively in the spirit of the community. A warning will be given to any regular member before an account is suspended. Drive-by spammers who sign up and immediately post unrelated content or advertisements, solicitations, offensive or adult-oriented material will have their account removed without a warning. For more information about the role of Moderators & Admins please refer to the Out of the FOG Leadership Guidelines Creating and Deleting Accounts When you open an account at Out of the FOG you will be asked to create an account name and provide a valid email address. An email will be sent to you which will ask you to confirm your registration. After you have completed this step you will be able to post to topics. Your first post will be reviewed by the moderating team to ensure it is consistent with these board guidelines before it is published. Posting under multiple accounts or under account names containing solicitations, offensive or adult-oriented references is not permitted. Posters from certain domains who have a track record of generating non-permissible content are prevented from creating accounts. If you have trouble creating an account try using an email address from a more reputable provider. For confidentiality reasons, when registering, we advise you not to provide an email address by which you can be easily identified. You won't be able to change your username after you create an account. Therefore avoid choosing a username that can compromise your confidentiality. The moderators can change your username - but please note that your old posts will still be displayed under your original username. Only one username change is allowed per member. The software doesn't allow members to delete their accounts. However, members can request the deletion of their account at any time by PM to one of the moderators. Deleting an account can't be reversed by the moderators and shouldn't be requested unless the member is sure they will not want access to the account again. Therefore, if a request is made, the moderating team will wait seven days to give the requesting party the opportunity to rethink their request. Note that deleting an account will not delete your posts. Anyone wishing to rejoin after deleting their account will need to sign up with a new account. Requests to delete subsequent accounts will not be granted. In order to keep our membership roster meaningful we periodically remove accounts which have never submitted a post and have been inactive for 6 months. Members who have submitted at least one (not spam) post to the boards will not have their accounts pruned because of inactivity. Members who have had their account pruned because of inactivity have the option to create a new account with the same user name if they wish. Please refer to the Zetaboards Terms of Use for additional restrictions and conditions that apply. Edited by Haggis, Aug 30 2010, 03:38 PM.
	Often wrong but never in doubt.

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