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Welcome to Out of The FOG; From your moderators!
Topic Started: Oct 12 2007, 12:01 PM (2,198 Views)
Lenny	Oct 12 2007, 12:01 PM Post #1
Unregistered	WELCOME TO OUT OF THE FOG You have found a wonderful place to learn about Personality Disorders. All of us "Nons" have or have had someone with a personality disorder in our lives. We understand. You will no longer think you are alone in dealing with a loved one with a PD. This is a safe place. You can feel free to post, vent, ask questions, get help, and share with others. You won't have to "Walk on Eggshells" here. Here we do not require that the personality disordered person in your life is diagnosed. "If the shoe fits, wear it" and this is the place to find understanding. The traits of common personality disorders are listed on our webisite here and in the Common Behaviors section. If you have BPD, I would suggest you go to Ash's site, BPDrecovery, for people with an interest in recovering from this personality disorder. You will find many people there that share your diagnosis and problems, and are dedicated to working on their own recovery. http://www.bpdrecovery.com/ The question of security comes up often. When you choose your member name, please choose a name that will not be easily recognizable to any others you may not want to know you are posting here at Out of the FOG. Creating an anonymous email account only for Out of the FOG is wise and we heartily recommend you do so. "Have you made sure you haven't accidentally left any footprints in the user name you chose and email addy you may have provided, or MSN/Yahoo, etc. membership profile?" "Are the user name and email address ones that your spouse, ex or anyone else could recognize, put 2 and 2 together and know that you are here posting?" The site http://www.brokenspirits.com/security/web_security.asp has some clear instructions on how to delete the history in your puter and erase you "tracks". There are two articles that I think would benefit all Newbies to read. They are well worth the time and effort. Losers: http://www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/F...yingLosers.html The Stockholm Syndrome: http://drjoecarver.makeswebsites.com/clien...m_syndrome.html Again, Welcome. Introduce yourself first, let us get to know you and your situation. We understand, we care, we all try to help each other.
Unregistered


MoGlow	Oct 12 2007, 09:09 PM Post #2
Madame MoGlow Posts: 1,770 Group: Admin Member #6 Joined: October 12, 2007	Hello there, and welcome to Out of the FOG! We are so pleased you've found us and hope to be able to help you wade through the mire that makes up personality disorders. Understand right off that we are not professionals and don't pretend to be - our advice comes from experiences much like your own. All of us have had or are still in relationships with someone who has (or is presumed to have) a personality disorder. We have spouses, parents, children, significant others, ex spouses, etc., much like your own. We understand the anger, the tears, the helplessness, the depression, the apparent senselessness of it all, and the wish to somehow redeem the situation even when we know there is nothing we can do. What we do here is provide support and compassion as you try to heal and move forward from where you are today. Hopefully we can point you to some resources that will help you understand so you can make better choices for your future. Whether you choose to stay with your loved one or leave them and the relationship behind, there are things to learn - both about them and more importantly, about yourself. Again, welcome to Out of the FOG. Please contact any of the moderators/administrators if you have questions. That's what we're here for. glow MoGlow's introduction
	Expectations are disappointments under construction. ~ Cap'n Spanky Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~ Gandhi


gary	Oct 13 2007, 11:30 AM Post #3
Over 1000 posts Posts: 3,341 Group: Admin Member #5 Joined: October 12, 2007	Hello everyone and welcome. I can't help but be reminded of the movie, "Space Cowboys" but in our case it would be "Cowboys and Cowgirls" where they got together a bunch of old-timers who had decades of experience and placed them in a modern vehicle to go out and help with a problem that they had lots of first hand experience with. Thats what we have here, a brand new board but inside a very seasoned and experienced crew that guided another ship like this for years called "The Nook". The only thing new here is the platform this forum sits on. Otherwise there are decades of experience dealing with a very old problem ... broken hearts from loving someone with a personality disorder. Please feel free to (what we call) lurk all you want and then join us when your time is right. If you are from another board and want to stop by and visit ,then please do or even join us as well. Thank You and again...Welcome gary P.S. We all want you to have the most peacefull experience possible so please just take a couple minutes before you get too far along and go over the guidelines and then take another look at your profile just to make sure you haven't used maybe a user name that you wouldn't want anyone to put 2 and 2 together and know it may be you and also check to see if your email if visable isn't one anyone would know...Thanks One more addition for all the real newbies that don't know us from before. It concerns our "Post Count" here. This is a new board so our count starts at zero as with everyone.Our actuall count for each of us goes into the thousands. I know mine was around 11 or 12 thousand before this new board. Some has to be that I am a blabber mouth at times but so many of ours were the real deal as well. Ok...Now Welcome :)
	My Book: "That Soul Belongs To Me" My Web Site: Gary Walters Photography My Blog: http://gawalters.com/blog/ " I started out with nothing and have most of it left "


still	Oct 18 2007, 08:43 PM Post #4
Over 100 posts Posts: 270 Group: Retired Admin Member #13 Joined: October 14, 2007	Welcome, new friends, and welcome back, old ones! You are visiting a place that caters to a slightly unusual clientele - people who have or had someone significant in their lives with a personality disorder. This site focuses on the experiences and perspectives of the people who must deal with the challenges that having a personality-disordered important person in your life can bring. The moderators here come from a long, gently handed-down, treasured and renewed tradition of caring and concern for our members. Among others, we have one core tradition that seems a little contradictory at first - we welcome you to come on in, look around, sit down and relax, and speak up all you want - if and when you feel like it, or hold your peace, if you don't. Whether you join in the discussions a little, a lot, or not at all, you will find here people who understand the unique situations that people like us can sometimes find ourselves in. Someday, however, even though we treasure the friendship of every member, we hope you will feel free to say goodby to us - goodby because you don't need to be here anymore. There's no requirement to leave, however - no deadlines, no programs, no workshop requirements - so, whether you feel you've resolved the challenges in your life with a PD person or not, please know that you will be welcome here, and welcome back! PS - Here's a link to my personal intro and the forum you can use if and when you feel like doing an intro of your own: http://board.nook2.com/index.php?showtopic=41



Haggis	Oct 18 2007, 10:21 PM Post #5
Over 1000 posts Posts: 2,124 Group: Admin Member #1 Joined: October 11, 2007	Hi everyone, and welcome to "Out of The Fog" I'm a single dad - divorced from a spouse who had what I thought was Borderline Personality Disorder - but was later diagnosed by a Psychologist to be a combination of Histrionic and Dependent Personality Disorder. When I found the Nook - the predecessor of this site - I was at the end of my rope - well I had been at the end of my rope for a long time I suppose. Finding out that I was dealing with a personality disorder and finding that there were others in the world like me and that there was hope was like finding an oasis in the desert. It took 3-4 more years before I got out of that relationship and now I have custody of my kids. I still have a hard life as a single dad and a hard road ahead but I am finally out of the FOG - thanks to friends I met in this community. I was very sorry when the owner of the old Nook - Randi Kreger - decided to get out of the message board business. The site was transferred to a new owner - who wanted to take the board in a new direction - which really didn't work for me. So some of the old Nook moderators and I have got together and created this place. We hope it will be a place of friendship and refuge at times from the struggles of dealing with the PD sufferers in our lives. The way I see it - if just one person gets the relief I got when I found the Nook - then the whole effort to build this site will have been more than worth it. Welcome to Out of The FOG. And good luck to us all. Haggis
	Often wrong but never in doubt.


been there	Oct 18 2007, 11:14 PM Post #6
Over 10 posts Posts: 57 Group: Retired Admin Member #7 Joined: October 12, 2007	Hi, and welcome all. I would especially like to welcome those with a SO (significant other), either dx'ed (diagnosed) or not of a PD (personality disorder), and if you wanting to stay and make the relationship work, there is a Committed section. It is a safe place to share your thoughts and ideas, along with others in a similar position. Not all who start off in the Committed section remain there, as not all relationships work out, so feel free to post and read in all areas. Again, welcome and know your not alone in all this. I was totally confused and in a lot of pain, when I arrived at the old Nook. It helped more than words can describe, and hopefully our new board will be just as helpful. Mark



Pat 2u2	Oct 21 2007, 09:17 AM Post #7
Over 100 posts Posts: 483 Group: Retired Admin Member #9 Joined: October 13, 2007	Welcome to all here at Out of the FOG. You have found a place where so many others share the common problems of dealing with loved ones and/or family members with BPD or other Personality Disorders. We understand. I remember the relief when I found out I wasnt the only one going through the trauma of being a Non, there were others like me, and I wasnt alone any longer. I was raising a grandaughter diagnosed with BPD, then started a relationship with a man I thought was 'normal'. Later, I learned he was BPD and also diagnosed with co-morbid APD, NPD, PTSD, and probably some more alphabet letters I have forgotten. I found the original Nook in June, 2001. For the first time I realized I wasnt the crazy one, there were others with problems similar to mine and people that understood what was happening in my life. It was a lifesaver at a time I was grasping at straws for any way to make sense out of my life. Again, welcome. Pull up a chair and join us. Read, learn, post as you feel comfortable doing, and know you are not alone in this journey with loving or having a family member with BPD. You have found a wonderful place for support and sharing ideas. We care. Pat Here's a link to my intro post in the Introduce Yourself section: http://board.nook2.com/index.php?showtopic=94
	"Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently." Henry Ford


Moesha	Oct 24 2007, 03:23 PM Post #8
Over 10 posts Posts: 18 Group: Retired Admin Member #22 Joined: October 17, 2007	Welcome! I'm Moesha. I came to the previous incarnation of the Nook looking for information about BPD because my mother is borderline. I'm the survivor of a very abusive childhood, and I spent a lot of years seeking answers to the painful riddle of my mother's violent behavior. So I am an Unchosen Non, to use our Nook shorthand. As an adult, I found that my romantic relationships tended to be dysfunctional, a direct result of my crazy childhood. The dysfunction culminated in an engagement to a BPD man. We split up before marriage, a blessing for which I thank the Universe every single day. So I am also a recovering Chosen Non. I credit the website as one of the most powerful tools in my recovery arsenal. It has been incredibly healing to find so much support from others who have walked miles in my shoes. The information, acceptance and sometimes tough love has been priceless to me on my journey of recovery. I moderate here as a way to give something back for all that I've received. My advice to all newcomers is to read, read, and read some more. The recognition that you are not alone might feel overwhelming at first. When you're ready, and you'll know when that moment comes, tell us your story. We will listen. And understand. And sometimes that is just enough to let the healing begin.



Aames	Oct 28 2007, 06:57 PM Post #9
Over 100 posts Posts: 761 Group: Admin Member #4 Joined: October 12, 2007	Welome to Out of the Fog! Pull up a throw pillow, make yourself comfortable, check out the various forums and post whenever you're ready. We hope you will be at home here! Aames PS - if you want to know my story - I'm both a Chosen and an Unchosen Here's a link to my intro! http://board.nook2.com/index.php?showtopic=7
	�I like my coffee like I like my men. In a plastic cup.�


Screamingfire	Oct 31 2007, 10:49 PM Post #10
Over 100 posts Posts: 463 Group: Retired Admin Member #8 Joined: October 13, 2007	Welcome to Out of the FOG! This is a special place for those of us that have a personality-disordered person in our lives. This is our place to share our frustrations, our tears and our joys. It is our time to focus on ourselves. When dealing with a loved-one that has a PD, time for ourselves is a precious commodity. My hope is that you take a look around, settle in, ask questions and, most of all, feel comfortable. This is your board too - and our goal is to make it the best it can be. I am an "unchosen". My mother has BPD. To see my story, here's a link- http://board.nook2.com/index.php?showtopic=152
	Let's Start a Revolution: http://anunchosenstruth.blogspot.com/ Care more than some think is wise, Risk more than some think is safe, Dream more than some think is practical, Expect more than some think is possible.


jrrr	Nov 1 2007, 09:17 AM Post #11
jr Posts: 371 Group: Retired Admin Member #15 Joined: October 14, 2007	So maybe you didn't know there was actually a set of behaviors and extraordinary ways of thinking that are encompassed in the clinical term 'personality disorder'. Maybe someone told you or you found out otherwise, but it still seems so out there that you're sure there's no way other folks could possibly know what you've experienced. The overwhelming feeling of total confusion and hopelessness gives way to a small sense of validation, yet still there's a boding 'aloneness'. Are there really other people and families who deal with similar issues that culminate in what seems a living nightmare? Where are they...? We're here. Out of the Fog is not so much a 'place' as it is a community - a community of sharing, supporting, and learning. And the first thing you've learned is: you are not alone. Glad you found us. ~ jr my story
	�Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.�

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