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| The trouble with working with troublemakers is... | |
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| Topic Started: Jul 22 2009, 08:00 PM (406 Views) | |
| still | Jul 22 2009, 08:00 PM Post #1 |
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Over 100 posts
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... you might end up looking like a troublemaker yourself. I just got off the phone with the HR people trying to contain more damage from PD Co-Worker, who today vowed to get me fired because I'm incompetent because, once again, I was not doing a very good job of doing her job for her. This is a project I had already talked to my own supervisor and also to HR about - the head of HR - both agree that it's something that does not fall within my job responsibilities at all and is not an appropriate assignment for me. In HR's words, it was the same as expecting me with no training to drive cross-country in an 18-wheeler. The project is PDCW's responsibility to coordinate, but she has continually dumped it on me, among others. Today, some tech support people came to work with PDCW on it, but she had given them my name. I pointed them to the test room, and called PDCW who she said she'd be there in a bit. A while later the techs phoned and told me PDCW never showed so I messaged and tried to find her, but to no avail (I am not a secretary to PDCW, or anyone actually - I did this as a courtesy to all the co-workers involved). I gave the techs PD's contact info too, and they tried to track her down for a while, then - after two hours of working on the project without her - finally they had to leave. Next thing I know, PDCW miraculously reappeared at my office door and started attacking me for not "supervising" the techies (in addition to not being a secretary, I am also not a supervisor). When I pointed out that both I and HER tech crew had checked in with her initially and tried to find her periodically for this appointment SHE had made with them, she went into the rant that concluded with "You are incompetent-you-should-be-fired." I still have my no-doors-closed rule, but it was close to lunchtime, and I suspect no one else was around in our area, which is why PDCW felt safe letting her ugly side out. She was standing in my doorway during the whole ordeal, blocking the exit, so when she went totally ballistic, I simply said, "I've heard enough of this," turned my back on her, and went to work, ignoring her. She rambled on for a few more minutes, then went away. As soon as she did, I called HR and left a message warning that they might hear from her about my "incompetence and I should be fired" for not doing the project we had all agreed was not only not mine to do but not appropriate for me to do either. (Whew - Sorry for the length, but it felt good to get all that out!) I just got a call at home now from the HR head, who of course sounded sympathetic. But you know, I imagine if she's not getting tired of this already, she will be soon. I've been in and out of the HR office more times in the last few months than I have in the last 10 years. I've also gone over PD Co-Worker's head to HER supervisor several times. I've logged in my fair share of decades in the working world, and I don't think I have ever had to go to somebody else's supervisor before, anywhere. Although the higher ups seem to agree that I'm in the right, I bet they're both tired of all this. Point is, in trying to protect myself from PD Co-Worker, it's probably starting to look like I have a problem too. In what I've learned in the past on personality disorders (particularly BPD), I've seen this referred to as "fleas". If you're closely associated with someone who has a PD, and constantly having to fight off their projections and delusions, your own self-protective, naturally defensive behavior can (not always, but sometimes) begin to look to others very much like the PD's behavior. It's especially confusing for observers when the PD in question has a shall-we-say challenged relationship with the truth, as is true in the case of PDCW. (Fortunately for me, PD Co-Worker has an established track record of being "factually incorrect" when it comes to human interaction.) I told the HR head today that I'll take a pay cut just to get as far away as I can from this out-of-control bully. I also told her that although I had hoped to work for our organization for the rest of my work life (I really do have a lot of admiration for this group - I had worked beside them for many years in alllied groups, and was proud to join their organization, and will be sad to leave), I'm looking outside the organization now too. I am simply not going to put up with anymore of this. I didn't say this part to the HR head, but the fact is - I'm already getting too many fleas. It's time for me to leave. The sooner, the better. |
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| Haggis | Jul 23 2009, 08:32 AM Post #2 |
Over 1000 posts
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wow - I'm really sorry Still. It sounds so unfair. Your company's HR dept sounds a lot like an enabling parent, trying to appease the kids and the abuser when the other parent is completely out of line. I suppose leavign this company is a bit like going NC with a family where there is one abuser and the rest are enablers. You don't want to leave, things could be better, but they are not willing to exercise any kind of boundaries as long as its just you taking the heat. You don't deserve this. You deserve a respectful place of employment, with interesting motivating challenging work and colleagues who encourage you and bring out the best in you. Maybe you'll be in that job soon eh? |
| Often wrong but never in doubt. | |
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| Aames | Jul 28 2009, 04:32 PM Post #3 |
Over 100 posts
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How telling is that? That you would gladly take a cut in pay, or quit a job at an organization you're otherwise proud to be a part of, rather than continue to work with this person? Please let us know how this resolves! |
| “I like my coffee like I like my men. In a plastic cup.” | |
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| still | Aug 7 2009, 07:36 AM Post #4 |
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Over 100 posts
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Thanks for the encouraging words, Haggis and Aames. I really do wish I could stay with my employers, but that's looking less and less likely. Many departments have hiring freezes in place, and other area organizations do too, but I'm keeping the search going. In the meantime, PDCW continues the bad behavior, almost daily. Although I know she's been told to get off my back by her supervisors, her sense of entitlement and her belief that she can outsmart any rules and regs that apply to mere mortals and not her has meant the stupid attacks continue. The latest was an email smear she sent to just about everybody in the organization which was supposedly a reminder for everyone to be careful on the job. Halfway thru it contained a comment from her that she's had to counsel me "numerous times" that I must notify supervisors when I'm overassigned and to ask for help. Aside from the fact that she never did so, the irony is that my asking for help is precisely what PDCW ran to MY supervisor to complain about! (how dare I "question" her project plan). I sent a polite reply, not to everybody under the sun as PDCW did, but to PDCW, to my supervisor and to our director (they were all on PDCW's enormous route list), and I bcc'd the head of HR. I thanked PDCW for her interest in safety but asked that she not single me out in the fashion she had done in her email, quoting the "numerous times" paragraph that included my name (no one else is personally named in the email). I also reminded her that, as she well knew, I did not have a problem speaking up and asking for assistance when a work project required more than one person or was out my area of expertise. PDCW's reply to my email? She claimed it was an expression of concern for me, an act of Christian charity. Oh brother.  A formal harassment complaint is beginning to look like my only option if I stay. Haggis, I think you got the management POV down to a T. Other people have told me they've had similar experiences with upper management's ostrich-like enabling behavior as far as PDCW's bullying goes. Maximum talk, minimal action. Might as well put up a "bullies wanted" sign. I've learned that I'm not the only one looking for an exit. |
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| MoGlow | Aug 7 2009, 09:17 AM Post #5 |
Madame MoGlow
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What she's doing is harassment, plain and simple. Her behavior has created a hostile work environment for you (and others) and made it difficult to do your job. Honestly, a formal complaint does look like your only option at this point - you've tried going through the chain of command yet her harassment continues. Check out disciplinary rules and see if there's a set procedure for dealing with harassment by another employee. It may be that once a formal complaint is made, she's called on the carpet and at the very least reprimanded. That may not stop her the first time but it should get her attention, make her see that no one is playing anymore. |
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Expectations are disappointments under construction. ~ Cap'n Spanky Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~ Gandhi | |
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| still | Aug 7 2009, 12:24 PM Post #6 |
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Over 100 posts
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Thanks, Glow. I am going to look into it. Of course, PDCW only exhibits the worst behavior when she thinks we're alone. She must find it frustrating that I am largely succeeding in avoiding her, plus since the last rage I keep my tape recorder, locked and loaded, in plain sight and within easy reach on my desk (in my own organization we are allowed to record employee conversations as long as everyone is aware it is being done and thereby consents or not - these are the rules and regs about tape recording for my organization only and are likely to be different in every organization). One of the other little head games PDCW played was requesting that her project "team" (including me) change schedules; for me, that would have meant that in our section of the building it would be pretty much just me and PDCW one afternoon a week. I went (again) to my supervisor, the director and the HR head and said I'm willing to change my hours as long as I was reassigned that afternoon to a different area so that I would NOT be alone with PDCW. I'd already told them why (I'd said in an earlier meeting with the HR head that not only was the bullying unpleasant for me, it was a needless cost to the organization; also I wanted to do something more productive with my time than defending myself from PDCW's attacks). The end result was that my schedule was not changed. The only good thing about the latest incident, the email smear, is that since PDCW had already formally complained about my requesting help on a project, the email smear attempt claiming she's counseling me "numerous times" to ask for help, just the opposite, only proves that she is a liar. Edited by still, Aug 7 2009, 05:14 PM.
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| MoGlow | Aug 7 2009, 01:21 PM Post #7 |
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Madame MoGlow
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And keep on with that documentation, Still. It'll either cure her or nail her to a tree before it's all over. She may think she has found a good target but she can't hit you if you keep moving. Damned shame she does this at work - can you just imagine what her personal life is like?! |
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Expectations are disappointments under construction. ~ Cap'n Spanky Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~ Gandhi | |
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| mathcorechick | Aug 21 2009, 12:28 AM Post #8 |
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Over 100 posts
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i am going to be in a similar situation when i go back to work. still stay the course. a question to the group- if still keeps going to hr and the harassment continues because they continue to do nothing, is their any legal recourse? would this fall under any of the 'whistleblower' legislation? |
| mathletes do mathletics! | |
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