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| Saying too much in therapy?; worried if it might be harmful? | |
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| Topic Started: Feb 9 2010, 09:21 PM (329 Views) | |
| movingforward | Feb 9 2010, 09:21 PM Post #1 |
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Over 10 posts
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Hi again, tomorrow I go to therapy and I'm going to tell her a lot of stuff I never told anyone before. What I'm worried about is how do I know if I should say all of it or just some of it. I will probably run the full session saying it all, and then run the risk of leaving session feeling very lousy, or I could say some and leave time at the end to calm down. Only thing is I feel like it is important to say everything because I have been to 8 sessions, and not said much of anything and its not a good thing. Anyone have an idea? |
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| oneflewover | Feb 9 2010, 11:33 PM Post #2 |
Over 1000 posts
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If it is a good therapist, I am sure they have certain techniques and suggestions to help you get started. The bottom line is do what makes you feel comfortable of course and just let things flow however they need to be. I am a bit of a control freak at times and I remember my very first therapy session and I was all armed with all this stuff and the therapist laughed at me and said, "hey let's just talk....tell me what is going on." Be sure to tell your therapist what your goals are and what you would like to accomplish overall. I went to heal the wounds of adultery but mostly, my goal was to make sure that I was mentally okay cause what I was dealing with was not and I felt so insane because of it. I remember one time my cell phone rang and I quickly apologized and went to silence it, it was my ex and he kept calling and leaving messages. My therapist was like, do you want to listen to his messages while I am here....I was like HECK YEAH! Very enlightening for me cause my therapist could hear some of the emotional manipulation and help me pin point it. I am rambling.....sorry.....I wish you the best, as I know you want to get to the heart of the matter and begin your healing. Can we say too much, I don't think so movingforward. Your therapist will be there and will guide you. |
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One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest ~Alis volat propriis | |
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| gary | Feb 10 2010, 12:10 AM Post #3 |
Over 1000 posts
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Yep on what Oneflewover said. Just go in and thell the T what ys just told us and the T will know how to go from there. Good for you for wanting to talk though. It's your dime and no sense in ever leaving anything out. Ya never know what may be an important phrase of an event. |
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My Book: "That Soul Belongs To Me" My Web Site: Gary Walters Photography My Blog: http://gawalters.com/blog/ " I started out with nothing and have most of it left " | |
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| Klarity Belle | Feb 10 2010, 05:09 AM Post #4 |
Klarity Belle
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I don't think you can say too much in therapy Movingforward though sometimes it can feel like i kind of rush to get the whole story out in one sitting. Like OFO said though if your therapist is experienced she/he will know how to help you. I find myself glossing past things sometimes or minimizing something, my T will repeat back to me what I have said and say 'can you tell me more about that', then follow it up with something like 'oh that must have felt very........dealing with that so young' - often a surge of emotion will hit me then and we both just sit with the impact of it for as long as it takes. I really trust my T now and I have a double session today. Good luck with your session today too Movingforward, you are doing all the right things for your healing and we have this fab forum too - what a bonus! 
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http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4 "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran "That which we do not confront in ourselves we will meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung | |
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| mathcorechick | Feb 10 2010, 08:55 AM Post #5 |
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Over 100 posts
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be as open and honest, even if it is uncomfortable. it takes a lot of courage to tell the WHOLE truth when a PD is involved. when you censor yourself it makes it a lot harder for the T to do their job- i had a hard time opening up to my last T, tended to censor/ minimize events which made the therapy less effective. it wasnt until right before the end (last 5-6 visits) that we really got a rapport going and were able to get some work done. if i would of known know. . . .i would of told her everything from the get go and gotten a lot more out of it. hope you have a good session. keep it up! |
| mathletes do mathletics! | |
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| Dancer | Feb 10 2010, 12:03 PM Post #6 |
Over 10 posts
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We build ourselves up for ‘the session’, we have a lot that we want to get out, we go over and over it in our head. And sometimes, after ’the session’, we come out feeling like we had opened a flood gate and we wonder if the therapist got any of it. And again we go over and over what we said, did we miss anything, did we say something really stupid etc. Does the therapist think we’re crazy. My advice, if you want it, is to slow down. Make a few notes to remind yourself about the things you want to cover. Take a few deep breaths and avoid letting your thoughts run away with you. While in the session, leave breaks for the therapist to reply. Try to leave the session with the therapist summing things up. This might give you something positive to think about on the way home instead of becoming over concerned about the things you said. |
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| MoGlow | Feb 10 2010, 03:08 PM Post #7 |
Madame MoGlow
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My guess is you won't get it all out in the first five sessions, if then. There's bound to be a lot stored up and it will take time to sort through it. Try to not hold back AND not beat yourself up for "saying too much" either. Just know that some sessions will flow easier than others and the only way out is *through* - you'll work through it in your own time. A good therapist will help guide you if you get too far off track and they understand feeling overwhelmed and that need to purge yourself of all the harmful stuff. Be gentle with yourself, all right? It's a process, not an event (if that makes sense). |
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Expectations are disappointments under construction. ~ Cap'n Spanky Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~ Gandhi | |
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| movingforward | Feb 10 2010, 06:00 PM Post #8 |
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Over 10 posts
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Hey Everyone, thank you so much for your responses, I read them right before I had to go in to session (thanks to smartphones and internet) and it gave me a bit more courage to really be honest, also I decided not to think about how much or little to say, and instead go with the flow and say things as they seem to come up, also not worrying if it was too much to say. All your advice helped a lot and made a lot of sense! The good news is that although I was so nervous, I actually went in there and said all that I meant to say. I talked about my OCD, which as it turns out unexpectedly interferes with my dealing with my past history of growing up around my brother and his abuse. The therapist recommended that we deal a bit with the OCD so that I can actually get at the trauma of growing up with him because they have become linked over the years. I had to tell her all about the details of my OCD which I had never done before to anyone or even written it down. Today was such a success because I said everything and I'm feeling that she was right to start tackling the OCD because I think it will clear my head to deal with the abuse with my brother who is a diagnosed psychopath. Your advice was all so helpful I really think opening up is the way to go, I feel like I'm going to be able to open up more now after how todays session went! THANKS!!!! Edited by movingforward, Feb 10 2010, 06:02 PM.
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| oneflewover | Feb 10 2010, 06:20 PM Post #9 |
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Over 1000 posts
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I am so glad to read that it got started off on a good foot and you are feeling okay with things. I hope and pray that your sessions can be fruitful for you. You should be very proud of yourself. It is not always easy to commit to. |
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One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest ~Alis volat propriis | |
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| mathcorechick | Feb 10 2010, 10:38 PM Post #10 |
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Over 100 posts
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getting a handle on the ocd is a HUGE step. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((( moving forward ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) |
| mathletes do mathletics! | |
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| movingforward | Feb 11 2010, 01:22 AM Post #11 |
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Over 10 posts
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haha yes its about time, I've been seeing her for a couple months but not been able to say anything detailed till now! I'm very happy because I think this means progress. Thanks both of you I am proud of myself for that! once I kick the OCD in the face, I can kick the past as well!! |
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| Klarity Belle | Feb 11 2010, 03:25 AM Post #12 |
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Klarity Belle
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it sounds like you are feeling very safe with your T and that she is a wise lady too, I imagine that by shining light on your OCD will have already helped immensely and I am sure you will now make great headway in your self efforts to reduce it. God bless all wonderful T's and great support forums (I am biased though because I reckon this is the very best one right here  ) Congrats Movingforward, I can see why you chose that handle!  Just had to use one of the new emoticons Haggis has added recently!
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http://www.storyofmylife.com/KLARITY4 "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" ~ Buddha "The deeper that sadness carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." ~ Kahlil Gibran "That which we do not confront in ourselves we will meet as fate" ~ Carl Jung | |
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| movingforward | Feb 11 2010, 11:56 PM Post #13 |
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Over 10 posts
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yeah i definitely am opening up to her so that means I think I trust her. She is really good its kind of shocking I hear so many things about bad therapists and so I got lucky on my first shot at it! The good thing is she's laid back and keeps the atmosphere light not heavy thank god, cuz the topics are heavy enough with the things I talk about. Everytime I go there I laugh at something and thats important to me. Yay for the good T's and support forums :) THANK YOU! |
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| Dancer | Feb 12 2010, 09:05 AM Post #14 |
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Over 10 posts
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I’m glad to hear things are going well with your therapist. Getting across what we want to say and knowing that we are being understood is a huge step forward. Be mindful that it won’t always be that way. The deeper you go the more it might hurt but the more it hurts, as strange as it may sound, the more it heals. Expect some sessions not to go so well but know that it’s all going to work out in the end if you stick with it and continue to get along nicely with the therapist. Good luck and best wishes. |
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| movingforward | Feb 18 2010, 05:54 PM Post #15 |
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Over 10 posts
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Oh yeah Dancer, thats true the deeper you go the more it hurts so true. I really hate going back and talking about it, I realized how much I hate it after I had a break for a while, when the therapist decided that we should focus on treating my OCD instead first, so I can have a clearer head for dealing with the past. Now that I'm only dealing with that, and not thinking about what to talk about with the past, I feel much better. I think it was a good move by the T to tackle OCD first, I know that now that I feel much better. When I go back to the past it will be easier and I'll be more prepared! Thank you for the good wishes! :) |
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